Old flame should remain that way

Dear Annie: I am a 26-year-old married woman. I love my husband and would do anything for him, and I know he would do the same for me.

The problem is, I contacted an old friend after learning his uncle had died. This guy was my first love. I only reached out to him to offer my condolences. But then the conversation went further, and we ended up reminiscing about the past.

Since then, we’ve been talking and texting and recently began to talk about having sex. I know I shouldn’t give in to these impulses, but really, I want to. My friend has not pressured me, so I don’t understand why I feel this way. What should I do? – Nameless in the USA

Dear Nameless: You should delete his phone number from your records and stop before you make a mess of your life. It is not unusual to fantasize about another partner. A lot of married people do, because marriage can become routine, and an old flame adds excitement.

But you need to live up to the commitment you made to your husband to “forsake all others.” Having an affair would hurt him terribly and possibly lead to divorce. Put some of that extra energy into reigniting the passion in your marriage. If you cannot do that, please consider counseling so you can remember why you married in the first place.

Editor’s note: Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.